Friday, February 27, 2009

Ryanair's Fee to Pee: Now We Know a Depression is Coming

Today, Ryanair, the Dublin-based international airline, announced that it was considering charging customers a fee to use the toilets on its flights. Now we know a Depression is coming. When an airline considers the truly extortionate idea of charging passengers who are, say, 1500 miles from either Dublin or New York, to use the in-flight facilities, it must be desperate for revenues. Okay, so the travel business is slowing, like most industries. But this is the 21st Century. Pay toilets existed decades ago, but they were essentially gone by the disco era and haven't returned even though leisure suits have made a comeback.

What's next from Ryanair? Should passengers be charged for a boarding pass? How about a per minute charge for conversations with airline agents? Perhaps passengers should have to pay for a flight attendant to smile and be pleasant. Surely, they should pay for the preflight tutorial on safety and evacuation--that's mandatory, so extortionate charges could easily be imposed. How about a charge for having a pilot and a co-pilot? After all, the plane is manufactured and delivered with a computerized autopilot, so isn't it fair to require passengers to pay for additional pilots in human form?

If you've been wondering whether or not the world economy is sliding into Depression, you don't need to wonder any more. With Ryanair even thinking about a fee to pee, you know that international commerce and trade must be sliding fast. It can't be long before you'll consider rice and beans a luxury. Be sure to stock up on toilet paper, and learn to carry some with you. If Ryanair imposes a fee to pee, it would logically follow that they would impose an extra charge for tp.

No comments: